Friday, May 28, 2010

Letter to CJ

I think if we had a song of how our relationship miserably failed it would be Thinking of You by Katy perry.
By the way I'm glad that you told others about your illness. I wondered and still do if you were ever worried that I'd tell. . . pointless to think about I know, But I hope that you can find some small amount of trust worthiness in me.
I thought about you this morning. I try not to dwell on you to much, you know, part of moving on and all that. But my ipod started playing the start of something beautiful and it made me think of you again. after all you introduced me to that band.
And I wonder how many other girls you played just like me. Not that I would fault you for it. I should be angry but I'm not.
I wonder if it was just an elaborate game of trolling. Get a girl to say she loves you in X amount of time for X amount of points. I'm usually more sensible then that, but from now on I'll be extra cautious about like/love.
And I'll always wonder about you because you are a mystery to me. I will never be able to get inside your head or see things as you see them.
You were a great memory I just wish to God I could let you go. Some days I think I have. Some days I'm not so sure.
I just wish I could be brave again and not be so afraid of everything. I just don't wanna be somewhere years from now and still be thinking about that silly foolish boy and the silly foolish girl I was, and that month which means nothing to you and everything to me.
. . . I just wish it was the beginning of september again and it was only you and I . . . and that I hung up the phone the first time you said hello..

No comments: