I lay here at midnight
And run possibilities in my mind.
Wondering how do I tell you that I've loved you for six years
And that your smile is the only one that's kept me alive,
Kept me in hope.
How do I calm these soft feathery stirrings when I see you
Biting back all I could say.
Keeping eyes averted
And hands grasping at the air at my sides, anything to keep from trembling.
How does one stop loving so unrequited?
How to I separate my heart from what you are when we are both made of the same stardust?
How can I untangle myself?
When you are the thread that has been winding itself quietly through my days
Leading me to here
Why do I keep whispering to my heart
Will I ever put these puzzle piece words in the right place
Finding the key
To tell you what I desperately long to say?
Will it even matter then?
Will I ever be free from the haunting of you
When you have drawn patterns of your self on my soul?
And not loving you is like denying my body air.
Why am I so stupid,
And painfully self aware?
Why do I love you?
Why do I dream recurrently of laying with you on a bed of moss,
The last generation of Eden.
And that you will turn to hold my hand
The self in me,
Like a missing rib.
Where do dreams go to die?