Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Past time

I'm never a viable ...." Option" ... To you,
Just a pastime. 

And maybe I do this to myself.
Always being out of reach,
Always being boring and predictable,
Always getting attached unconsciously and where I shouldn't. 
Always half believing under my breath that this time it will be different
 and I'll be loved, wanted, treated like I am valued and worth the kind of respect and long term affection that I want.
That I've always wanted.

That's All I want. 

It's never a graceful end with us.
Always cliff hangers and question marks.
Always the invisible wind down 
And never periods.
We love in incomplete sentences 
That we pick up the thread and start over and over but always stop at the tenses -
Were. are. is. was. will be.
Everything is hoped for 
And everything is hazy;
Nothing is complete
Or fully said.
Implication pairs its self with commitment.
Our tongues dance round and round the subject growing older each year. 
I want. I need. I love. I will. I am.  

I can almost imagine your room 

I can almost feel the weight of a wedding band.

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