Thursday, July 30, 2009

Havent slept in awhile.

The clock is a time bomb
It hurries me along
Hurries me into sleep.
Or what would of been sleep
Had I not been hurried.

I squeeze my eyes shut
Ticking . . . . Ticking . . . .
Like some automated machine
Worries come to mind
I wish I could quiet them with dreaming.
My head pounds
My body spins upside down.
Ticking . . . . Ticking . . . .
(God! Shut UP!)

Oh Jesus,
Was this your gethsemane?
The sweat pouring down like blood.
But you did not have this clock.
My eyes jump and rove

7:45 . . .

7:47 . . .

7:50 . . .

To that sweet face.
My limbs ache.
I twitch like an addict.
Maybe I am an addict.
I don't think I would care.

If only I were dreaming this,
Instead of half dreaming.
Instead of stepping in two worlds
Oh, let me step in one.

I am both fish and man
Swallowing this humidity in great gulps.

Then let me spin
And not choose one over the other.
Til the day is out.
Til I can rest these eyes stuck with grit
And lay this body in sheets filled with it.
I can be fish
Or man
If I choose.

I can have hours to dream
Instead of minutes.

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