I never wanted to lie
I say as I look into your eyes
willing you to believe me
Even now the voices play out in my head
The choir to our own harmonic destruction
(Do I really?)
I lay in unfamiliar beds
starring at the glow-in-the-dark stars stuck all over the ceiling
I lied when I said I was afraid of the dark and hung them up there
The truth is I'm afraid of being left alone with myself
I let the idiotic benign glow of a muted television screen
Provide the lull of perfect distraction
to try and sleep for a few hours
Your arms clench and clutch at my body
uncomfortably
Your snores next to my ear make rest impossible
I will go
If you let me
but your hands only grab and grope over this body
that is bruised and no longer pure
My name means princess
But I am not a princess anymore
I am naked and gritty
In a bed at the top of a hill
surrounded by fields I have never walked in
And friends I will never make.
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