October

Today is our anniversary of sorts
The dawn comes
Muted and gray
I lay here
My eyes swollen
Like I've been hit
And perhaps I have

I heard the thunder waking me
In the middle of the night
But now all is calm.
The rain drips
Into the silence.
October has not been kind to me
And whatever this weather brings
It does not bring love back.

It is over
And I let the dream
Slip away into morning.
This was the last,
The last bit of me.

Every day will be a mile
That moves me further from you
I can live,
Smile,
Remember how to forget. . .
But I don't forget anything,
Dear.

Let every memory fade,
Light uncatchable joy
Has fled.
If God is merciful
I'll forget your name
And never remember I had it once.
You rescued me
And pulled my heart from it's dark hiding place.
You could of left me alone
And I would've been happy.
Some people want to be found. I don't.

Let the salt abrade me
Til I am no longer what I am.
I return the gifts of bravery and trust.
You have no right to tell me to be unafraid
When you are all that I fear.

Go. Take the dream with you
I don't want it anymore
I don't want anything.
Leave me to be.
I am over.