The End. (Again)

"9/25/09 -
I'm getting far to deep with you.
It hurt when I thought you wouldn't call
like all the others.
I thought this could be the beginning of the end.
I'm such a stupid girl.
Break my heart
So it can never be broken again.
For after you,
I don't want any other.
I hate feeling stupid.
I hate this easy vulnerability.
So fragile we are.
I could keep myself behind walls,
I could lock up my heart
In the highest tower of a fortress I've built,
But you would come
And kiss it,
Waking it of it's 100 year sleep,
And ruin everything.
I think you're playing with me
And I can't be played with anymore.
I'm not a toy
I'm a porcelain doll.
I've been dropped and kicked under beds
Far to many times.
I can't sustain another fall.
I would like to trust you
And believe in a thing called . . .
Caring and Protection
But I can't trust anybody
Or you.
But I want to
And that has got to count for something.

I wont tell you any of this
For though I want you to understand
I know you wont.
All the pain I carry around will only hurt you.
I'm trying to let go,
Dipping my toe tentatively into the water,
But I can't just yet.
Please be patient with me.
You have no idea how hard
Freedom is."

-All this stupid emotional bullshit. In a few words - I'm scared and rightly so. It's not you it's me. "



You, good sir, are a bastard. You have no idea how bad what you've really done is.