How Do I Love?

Remember when we were naive
And we said that we'd love forever?
Now I am tired
And sitting here
Watching the rain
Drip, drip, drip,
With the cigarettes
I don't smoke
And the whiskey
I don't drink.

We rode the pendulum
Of emotion
Swinging back and forth
And maybe you meant it
Or you were just bored.
I know I was
And sick of a sort of
Loneliness.

I suppose I should now confess I lied.
But that's only half truth
My emotions don't back up my words
And whatever heart I have is unsure.
Now that I have this
This us
I don't know how to proceed.

How do I love?
There is no book
To learn from
Or role model which I may rob of traits.
So I act,
And I feel that you do as well
We both suit our respective parts
We don't misstep
But the steps that are scripted to us.

But it isn't real
And we both know.
Though we deny it
Waiting for the day
When it will be real.
If it is to come.

We lie
With all honestly
And deceive so sincerely
That maybe our good intentions
Might change this in what it should be
Or could be.
Maybe we'll stop being Casanova
And simple fade
removing all glamor
To you and I.