Octane Twist

Octane twist
All I can do to keep myself together
Get better
And buy a new car
To with that second hand life
You've got

I don't want to try to make sense
Can someone tell me who you are?
Buy me something new
Someone I can use
I don't want to feel myself
Anymore

I'm a bore
And rightfully so
Give me a kiss
Of your octane twist
And I'll buy you something new
I'll be someone you can love.

Away

I am the hollow empty husk
That's been licked dry
by the consequence of being me,
of trying to hard.

Discarded like a used up tissue
That dried all the pathetic tears of your inconsequence.

I once was all you needed
Like oxygen you sucked from me
Now I float, weightless carbon dioxide,
useless to you.

Go and float, flicker
demented absinthe fairy.
Eat the hearts of stars
On the other side of the morning.

I'll be here
Haunting.
Ashen salt-spit half woman
That nobody cared to make whole.

Vomit gutter baby
Still sticky with the fleshy strings of your mucussed insides.
I don't cry
Or wait
but suffocate
in my forgotten dumpster.

Foggy nothingness
I ignore your letters
but keep them
to prove
(to who do I prove?)
That I was love once.

Never There

Never there.
I don't think I shall be
Ever there.
The growl of the ocean lays me out
Stealing sounds from my mouth
Round oh's slip from my lips
Into the sand and the sky and the stone
Which is all salt,
all warm,
all fierce.
These bleed and cry
Like a pack of gulls
That circle over a morsel
Not quiet dead
But almost.
The stabbing sound
Heralding the world,
A death bell
And the last sound heard
Before the quiet and the black.
Dear God, what am I.

I once praised you with fingertips
I wrote you sonnets in the curve of your hip.
I let us slip
and sigh
into tomorrow
And kissed your lips
with secrets.

I once loved you with a look
One that at the smallest glance took
Away fears.
And you were a king in my eyes
For more then just a day
Did you miss it?

I once kept you with a word
Whispered, and yet you heard.
I cradled you on our shared bed
with hips and lips,
eyes and secrets,
I kept you
In the dark
Close to my heart
And never wanted to let go.









The first time I loved you
I loved you with only three words
I said them in a casual way
lightly rolling them off my tongue
Iridescent bubbles of thoughtlessness

The second time I loved you
It was more serious
I said them timidly
Wanting to be bold
Standing naked before you
Wanting to be so much more.

By the time the third rolled around
I knew loves ceaseless game
I had been led around
And stripped naked
One by one
But this I saved I just for you.
I presented it as a gift
when it's the last thing on the shelf
Maybe it was worth it
Or maybe it was just what was unwanted
But I said it
Earnestly
But with heart
I love you.
And this time after all life had taught me

i meant it.